Weddings Weddings Weddings!!!

Apperently I've reached a point in my life where all of my friends feel the need to get married...seems kind of early in the game to me, but to each his/her own. In any case, this has led to me becoming "wedding guy." I don't go to bars, frequent coffee shops, or wander around downtown or in the parks on weekends. No, that's for the common folk; I go to fancy country clubs, eat free food, and drink (lots and lots of) free beer. Mind you, I'm not at all opposed to this free beer, but with it comes the marriage ceremony itself. This gives me a plethora (just so you know, this is my favorite word in the English language and I try to use it in just about everything I ever write) of things to think about and will likely lead to a few posts starting with this one.

I find marriages in themselves to be incredibly interesting...the Christian chruches often refer to them as the greatest of God's mysteries...and there's probably some truth to the sentiment. But for now, I want to talk just about the ceremony. I've been to three weddings this summer...two Catholic and one Methodist. Of those three, the two Catholic weddings had the traditional "flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone" reading that just makes my stomach churn when I'm forced to listen to it. The Methodist ceremony was much more egalitarian in this respect, using readings from Corinthians and Romans focusing on love and charity (both very beautiful readings). All three, however, ended with prayers for the newlyweds that were baffling to me (as well as slightly infuriating). The prayers unwaiveringly beseached God to help the female partner be a loving wife, successful in all endeavors in life, a good mother, and to care for her new husband and family. The prayer for the male partner, in every case, asked that God guide him to remain faithful to his wife...that's it, nothing else. What the hell is this? We're asking the Almighty to help the woman do every task we can think of, piling on her all sorts of responsibilities. The guy get's to do whatever the hell he wants...so long as he remains faithful? Or is it that he doesn't need help being successful and it doesn't matter if he's a good father, as long as he's faithful? This just irks me.

I got a wonderful antedote out of my parents when I discussed this inequality with them over a post-wedding / pre-reception beer back at our hotel. It's a tradition in the Eastern Orthodox church for the priest to take the bride and groom to up to the alter during the ceremony and impart to them a few words of wisdom not shared with the gathered family and friends. Among other things, the priest told my parents that, since they were married, it's now my mother's job to make sure my dad gets into heaven. Of course some great jokes ensued, but let's think about this. Is this not the ultimate task to assign someone? You, wife, are responsible for your children, for taking care of the emotional work of your family, and for your husbands soul! He gets to walk up to the Pearly Gates and say, "Sorry Pete, I really didn't think much about what I was doing b/c they told me it was my wife's job to get me in this joint. You're not gonna hold my life against me, are you? She's the one that screwed up." That's an awful lot of responsibility, no wonder Big Pharma's busy selling Prozac to women!